Name Change for Knitpicks

posted in: Dyeing | 0

In honor of , Knitpicks shall hereafter shall be referred to as ASSpicks or even better SHITpicks.
I used to LOVE their stuff. I would order their Fingering Weight Peruvian Wool by the buttload, dyeing it to my heart’s desire. But only ASSpicks could turn this…
moze yarn before
…beautifully Moze-colored, hand-painted skein

into this:
yucky yarn
…muddled-up, color-running-all-over-the-effin-place piece of fiber excrement. Bleh!

At that moment I vowed I would never buy from them again! Thank WOOL I have a lovely alternative. And CK really knows how to take care of her clients! Seriously, if you like hand-dyeing/painting/whatever, YOU MUST GET THIS YARN!

So, I’ve been pretty secure in my decision to boycott ASSpicks. I’ve read that their circular needles are proving to be less than desireable, the cables constantly breaking. And unlike the wonderfully self-contained and moderately-priced system that is my beloved Denise Interchangeables, their Options (Italics for sarcastic emphasis) requires major investment for something comparable.

Then, 2 days later I get an email announcing that they now carry Jacquard dyes. Bitches!! I’ve heard so many good things about jacquard dies, I was sore tempted, because, you know, I MUST try them. It’s a moral imperative! Besides, the ProChem dyes I’ve been using are pretty good, but they have so many colors, it sometimes boggles the mind just to choose only what you need, tricky aren’t they? Then I’m reminded that my all-time favey source for dyeing yarn now carries the dyes as well, see? And they’re priced right! (You really should go check them out) Ha! Whew!

NOW, as if they just knew, like they have this evil mind-reading ability, I get their catalog in the mail. A sensible woman after TWICE vowing to never purchase from them again would have just thrown it away, muttering under her breath about how another tree was sacrificed so that they could peddle their swill, but not me. No. Nuh-uh. I open it, and what did I see? Only two of the handiest, dandiest knit gadgets in Knitopia today. BASTARDS!

Man, I’m SO screwed

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